Now that the time remaining is insubstantial, I need to review my history while asking What exactly it suggests I've lived for, What pleasures or duties, what moods Of brief elation or extended calm. To expect a meaning deeper than that, To believe in a purpose beyond my own Furthered by me all along without my knowing, Is to warm myself at a fire painted on canvas. If I want the company of the nonexistent, I'm better off with the crowd of shadows who lost Their only chance to escape the darkness On the night I happened to be conceived. I wonder how many of them would have felt more lucky With the family allotted me than I did, more pleased With the neighborhood. So many chances for them To go out and investigate, in streets that often bored me, Rumors that the beautiful had been sighted locally. The sassafras tree in the lot behind the shoe store Might have been mentioned by some, Or the straight-backed, white-haired woman Waiting for the bus in the rain at Main and Biddle. E...
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